who ever invented them any way ? they keep ripping my soul up & it’s really upsetting me!
i just want to be whole again! i just absolutely hate this. i don’t feel real..
yet again saving my life! this time from the internet! wooooooooo!!! i’m gonna go live in time and space!!! can’t wait!
tooootally! come play with meeeee!!!! eeek i need some p-net lovinnnnnn”’
heehee fanks taytay (;
when you make yourself vulnerable enough that a single certain person can completely destroy you, yet you trust them not to. lasting love, i think, is agreeing/committing with someone to be partners through everything and to always protect each other before anyone else. romantic love, something which i hadn’t ever been certain about, i find now to be sharing and withholding information from someone so that they hold an illusion of perfection of you. this kind of thing could most easily fall apart, because as soon as the illusion becomes clouded with reality it all sort of melts. however, if you have the other kinds of love in place, then logic will reign over romanticism and you can regain that illusion if you just let yourself forget certain things and forgive other things. i think love requires commitment and determination, openness and optimism, but i think that it is completely possible and entirely desirable and worthwhile. love is amazing if you can find someone who wants to make it work just as bad as you do. love has to be mutual. that’s why the romantic illusion is so important at first, the idea of perfection prompts people to make commitments and open themselves up to possible heartbreak. once you get that far, then it just requires patience and your basic give&take to maintain it. love is so fun. that’s the last thing that holds it together, i’d say. if it weren’t so fun, maybe we wouldn’t want to let ourselves be so vulnerable. but fuck, it’s awesome! you get to play with someone, you can touch them wherever whenever, you can do embarrassing things and they won’t mind, you get to meet their friends and family, you get to sleep in someone’s bed every night, hold hands, learn from each other, try new things, show off the things you love, just so much fun. or you can just watch tv and not be alone. love is great. sorry if this is a rant. hahah (: <3<3
bahaha what a question. um, well for me it was very strange. it was premeditated, a sort of agreement between friends. so right away it began on a strange note. it was a bit awkward being suddenly catapulted into sexual intimacy with someone who i had only known casually and briefly (especially at 16 or 17), but in the end I was glad it was with a friend. There was no real pressure to please anyone, thankfully hahaha! After it was over, it was a bit awkward and our relationship was uncertain. But he was a very sweet person and his kindness and optimism made it all ok. Overall it was good. No pressure. A bit uncomfortable, but absolutely satisfactory. ka-ching. (:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek can’t wait! (:
i’m a reeeal badass. and so is george. and so is andrew. and definitely so is andrew’s dad. bahahahahahah. i love my life. (:
so I realized today that ever since i quit smoking i’ve been eating like a thousand times more and now i feel like i’m getting significantly more unhealthy, although i have recently started going to yoga regularly. but still. it kinda sucks. so i guess what i’d like you to tell me…
smoke cigarettes or get fat??
i don’t remember what i said or exactly how anything happened (thanks a lot xanax) but all i know’z that he is thee one and i don’t ever want anyone else ever. ever ever. (: