how do you know you found someone to channel affection and desire into?
easy! — when he creates a facebook profile for your fridge after you express interest in listing your refrigerated relationship, then proceeds to think up punny names for all the items in your apartment with you while you procrastinate cleaning up said items. for example, floorence, doory, windey, tabletha, shelfton, bedjamin, futony, sinkleton, elizibath, lou, wally, amir, chairlotte, beddy, heather, gustove, curt kobain, curtainy love, trashton, pillois, comforterry, boxly, persipillows…
